Saturday, October 29, 2011

What a bunch of Halloweenies!

Halloween is here once again! The adults get into this holiday much more than the kids do these days. Nothing quite like seeing an adult dressed up like gorilla outside of a night club barfing his guts out after one too many shots of tequila. To his credit, gonzo gorilla guy still had enough working gray matter between his ears to take off his mask before barfing. Talk about your bad after taste. Anyway, after witnessing this miracle of modern society, I made my way to a more quiet residential area. The kids were out roaming around, doing the trick or treat deal. I guess everybody just thought I was one of the adults walking around in a zombie costume, because nobody gave me much of a second thought. Then all of a sudden I stopped cold. There was my 6th grade teacher’s house. No way could she still be alive. Mrs. Johnson would be like, I don’t know, maybe 127 years old! She was crazy. I got into trouble once, just because I had a sense of humor and Mrs. Johnson left hers in the smoke filled teacher’s lounge. Mrs. J gave our class a reading assignment to do while she graded our homework assignment. She was chewing on one of her ink pens while doing the grading. I mean Mrs. J was going to town on this pen, chewing on it like she needed more fiber in her diet. I looked up from my desk momentarily and saw one of the funniest things ever. The ink from her chewed up pen covered Mrs. J’s teeth! I couldn’t stop laughing and then the whole class joined me. Oh yeah, I’m the bad guy. She was the idiot chewing on a pen like it held the secrets to the fountain of youth, but no I was the one who got in trouble and sent to the principal’s office. So fast forward to this Halloween evening and I walked up to Mrs. J’s house and knocked on the door. Mrs. J answered the door in her ancient glory, still with the red ink stained all over her teeth! Talk about your hard luck.
I said “Trick or treat” and to my amazement Mrs. J gave me a treat. Here I thought I might score something good like a Snickers bar or a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, but no once again Mrs. J revealed herself to be the ultimate killjoy. Mrs. J handed me some stewed stinky prunes that may have been in her pantry since she retired. This was not cool at all. I looked up from the dripping, nasty prunes in my hand and she had slammed the door on my face. Mrs. J looked through the door window. She crinkled up her face gave me one creepy ass grin and started to laugh uncontrollably. Guess Mrs. J does have a sense of humor after all.

Thanks for reading Freakin’ Dead Jed’s blog. Have a Happy Halloween!

Freakin’ Dead Jed and all other related characters are copyright 2011 by Action Ave Art Studio, Action Ave Studio and Paul Addison.

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