Saturday, August 27, 2011

It's a tough gig, but some zombie has to do it......

Chased a family today around their house and did it ever hurt my pride.   Although it would seem that they should thank me for the exercise they received by running from a zombie, I suppose that might be asking too much.  It could even be considered quality family time spent for this mother and her three kids.  I mean, it wasn’t exactly like a night playing a game of Monopoly for this family, but they got to test their escape skills against the zombie mack daddy!  I came across this mom heating up some frozen pizza for her kids in their kitchen.  Again, I should be thanked by the kids at least since I interrupted lunch time and the “craptacular” pizza was flung to the floor by their mom when I gave her the initial scare of walking into her kitchen.  After chasing the mom and the kiddies up stairs and then back down stairs and throughout the main level of the house for about 23 minutes, “Momma” exchanged her frightened state for a more cool, confident, pissed off attitude.  She kind of reminded me of Sigourney Weaver from the Alien movies!  It kind of turned me on until she grabbed a ball bat from the garage and came after me with it.  Back in the kitchen, I happened to be trapped next to the stairs going down to the basement.  “Momma Thunder”, as I will now refer to her, jumped at me and smashed me with the bat so hard I went tumbling down the stairs!  My right arm became dislocated after the impact on the hard basement floor.  SON OF A SWAMP MOTHER, talk about bad karma!!!!  I fixed my arm with a dusty old tuba and a shoe horn.  Don’t ask, it’s better to not know the details.  So with my re-established confidence, I ran back up the stairs only to have Momma Thunder slam the door right on my face knocking me back down the stairs AGAIN!!  This time my left arm was completely unattached, but it was nothing a little duct tape and bailing wire couldn’t fix.  Holy Crap, I am like a zombie MacGyver!  Realizing it was time to call it a day; I broke out a basement window and went on back to the graveyard.  You know, I am starting to see the merits of cremation.  I wouldn’t get myself into these unfortunate incidents if I was a pile of ashes.

Thanks for reading Freakin' Dead Jed's blog.  He's not such a bad zombie once you get to know him and you can get to know him much better by clicking on the link below to head on over to my Action Ave Art Studio store at zazzle. com.  You owe it to yourself as a zombie scifi fan to collect one of Freakin' Dead Jed's adventures for yourself.  My artwork and art related merchandise make great gifts for that hard to buy for zombie or scifi collector in your family or circle of friends.  We have items for every budget, so head on over and order something today!  Don't forget to check out Galaxy Ranger Rusty McBolt.  He's a robot with the circuits of a genius...... or so I am told. 

Freakin' Dead Jed, Rusty McBolt and all related characters are copyright 2011 by Action Ave Studio, Action Ave Art Studio and Paul Addison.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Rumor going down around zombie town....

There was a rumor going around the zombie ranks today.  It consisted of the government and its goal to control each one of us zombies with an individual microchip surgically implanted right into the brain!  This scared the hell right out of me!   It’s not so much because being a zombie I have a fear of some government hired dumbass scientist screwing with my highly coveted IQ by riveting some shabby micro chip into my brain, but more so because our government can’t even control itself let alone trying to start some federal zombie slave program!  Look, we have government officials who talk out both sides of their mouth, playing spin the bottle in the world of politics.  Kissing up to the American public, telling the masses what they want to hear, when they want to hear it.  All the while, smooching up to special interest lobbyists and getting all the corrupt perks that go along with those “chapped lips”.  Just look at all the governmental screw-ups; take the Army Corp of Engineers, for instance.  These “rocket scientists” tried to convert the Missouri River into a giant enema for several Midwestern states this summer.  Yet, the government wants to control zombies…..yeah, right.  Learn to crawl, U.S. Government, before you can walk with the zombies…..

Thanks for reading Freakin' Dead Jed's thoughts in this blog.  Now drop everyting else you're concerned with right this minute!  Set that sandwich aside, let the dog out and tuck in the children because it's time to click on the link below to go to my Action Avenue Art Studio store.  Once you're there, you can be drawn into the zombie world of Freakin' Dead Jed and his attempts to fit into the land of the living.  Check out my other artwork about Rusty McBolt.  He is a futuristic robot ranger that I created because scifi artwork is really cool and fun to make.  The artwork pieces and related mechandise make great gifts for sci fi collectors or anybody who appreciates the wierd and wild.  We have artwork and items for every budget!  Come on over.....

Freakin' Dead Jed, Rusty McBolt and all related characters are copyright 2011 by Action Ave Studio, Action Avenue Art Studio and Paul Addison. 

Sunday, August 14, 2011

In the dog house again

Got caught in a rain down pour today and wow did that suck.  I literally had to run down the alley of a residential neighborhood I wasn’t very familiar with at all.  No zombie likes to run unless he or she is chasing down a human for a quick meal, but here I was running in the rain like a damned fool with no tasty humans in my immediate sight.  Saw a huge dog house in the middle of this empty backyard, so I ducked into it figuring I could hang out in there until the rain lets up.  I thought to myself that this isn’t very dignified to be jumping into a dog house, but then again I eat brains, bloody guts and other assorted organs, so how much damned dignity do I really need!  Beggars can’t be choosers.  So I was sitting there in the dog house, chewing on a bone left there by the dog who owned it.  It was a T bone and it still had some meat left on it.  At that point I was thinking that the day might not end up so bad after all when all of a sudden I heard a very loud growl.  A massive Rottweiler was standing on the back porch. (Uh, can you say YIKES?!)  The dog’s teeth looked tragically sharp and his attitude took a completely badass turn regarding a zombie taking up residence in his house, chewing on his T bone!  My foolish notion led me to think I was at the top of the food chain that day and boy was I wrong.  I bolted out of there like my head was on fire and my ass was catching!!  Must have set the zombie land speed record in getting the hell out of there…..

Go to Action Ave Art Studio store at to invest in excellent artwork and merchandise for yourself or as a gift for somebody else.  And as luck would have it, my studio store has items for EVERY BUDGET.   I've made it incredibly easy for you, just click on the link below to get to my store.  While you're there, you can also see and experience the scifi adventures of Ranger Rusty McBolt as he cowboys his way through the galaxy.  Thank you,  I appreciate your business.......Artist, Cartoonist & Creator Paul Addison.

Freakin' Dead Jed, Ranger Rusty McBolt and all related characters are copyright 2011 by Action Ave Art Studio, Action Ave Studio and Paul Addison.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

It doesn't pay to be a zombie pedestrian.....

This morning I was walking dead around town, hoping to score some breakfast organs from some unsuspecting humans.  I was making my way through this intersection, when all of a sudden, some nutburger city bus driver hauled ass down the street and ran right over my left foot and ripped the son of a bitch clean off!  Whoa, Nellie!!  My foot was stuck in the tire tread so I had to chase the bus six blocks on my stump before catching up to it!  Once my foot became unstuck from the tire tread, I climbed onto the bus and the driver acted totally clueless as to what he had done.  I said to him, "Hey, moron, you steam rolled over my foot and ripped it completely off my leg!"  His response to my aggravation, "Here's a quarter, call someone who cares!"  Dude has not seen a pissed off zombie.  "Listen," I fired back to the driver, "Just because you, as a city employee, barely cared enough to roll out of bed this morning after farting and hitting the snooze alarm, doesn't mean that the people of this fine city should be treated with any less respect.  By the way, we tax payers take care of your salary!"  True, I haven't paid taxes since I was human, sometime when Clinton was still president, but I was on a roll with my patriotic zombie speech.  The bus driver's reaction was to pull a stun gun from his pocket and use it on me.  I yelled to him, "You dumb ass, all that does it tickle, now I'm going to rip your face off and eat it!"  The three passengers who, up until this point, had been sitting there in stunned silence, all at once got up and opened a can of whoop ass on me.  Well, I was having a good morning until all of this.  Guess I will take my foot back home to the graveyard and rethink my strategy for lurking around the metro area.  Maybe I can get my hands on one of those great segway scooters that security guards so famously use....

Take action now and go to the link below and see the great artwork and merchandise at my Action Ave Art Studio store.  They make excellent gifts!  Hey look, my sickness knows no bounds so you might as well indulge me by going to Action Ave Art Studio store and seeing what you can find.  Don't forget to check out the awesome scifi adventures of robot Galactic Ranger Rusty McBolt as he fights the scumbags of the universe and keeps us safe!

Freakin' Dead Jed, Ranger Rusty McBolt and all related characters are copyright 2011 by Action Ave Art Studio, Action Ave Studio and Paul Addison.

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