Saturday, August 6, 2011

It doesn't pay to be a zombie pedestrian.....

This morning I was walking dead around town, hoping to score some breakfast organs from some unsuspecting humans.  I was making my way through this intersection, when all of a sudden, some nutburger city bus driver hauled ass down the street and ran right over my left foot and ripped the son of a bitch clean off!  Whoa, Nellie!!  My foot was stuck in the tire tread so I had to chase the bus six blocks on my stump before catching up to it!  Once my foot became unstuck from the tire tread, I climbed onto the bus and the driver acted totally clueless as to what he had done.  I said to him, "Hey, moron, you steam rolled over my foot and ripped it completely off my leg!"  His response to my aggravation, "Here's a quarter, call someone who cares!"  Dude has not seen a pissed off zombie.  "Listen," I fired back to the driver, "Just because you, as a city employee, barely cared enough to roll out of bed this morning after farting and hitting the snooze alarm, doesn't mean that the people of this fine city should be treated with any less respect.  By the way, we tax payers take care of your salary!"  True, I haven't paid taxes since I was human, sometime when Clinton was still president, but I was on a roll with my patriotic zombie speech.  The bus driver's reaction was to pull a stun gun from his pocket and use it on me.  I yelled to him, "You dumb ass, all that does it tickle, now I'm going to rip your face off and eat it!"  The three passengers who, up until this point, had been sitting there in stunned silence, all at once got up and opened a can of whoop ass on me.  Well, I was having a good morning until all of this.  Guess I will take my foot back home to the graveyard and rethink my strategy for lurking around the metro area.  Maybe I can get my hands on one of those great segway scooters that security guards so famously use....

Take action now and go to the link below and see the great artwork and merchandise at my Action Ave Art Studio store.  They make excellent gifts!  Hey look, my sickness knows no bounds so you might as well indulge me by going to Action Ave Art Studio store and seeing what you can find.  Don't forget to check out the awesome scifi adventures of robot Galactic Ranger Rusty McBolt as he fights the scumbags of the universe and keeps us safe!

Freakin' Dead Jed, Ranger Rusty McBolt and all related characters are copyright 2011 by Action Ave Art Studio, Action Ave Studio and Paul Addison.

create & buy custom products at Zazzle

No comments:

Post a Comment