Saturday, February 2, 2013

Screwed?


Chatted with my old zombie pal, Boner, the other day and he let me know of a new “business” opportunity he heard about recently.  An out of town zombie dude by the name of Rotty Rick presented a plan to keep all the local zombies fed with fresh humans and make us all rich in the process.  I smelled a slimy (well, more slimy than the normal) zombie who wanted to take us for a ride.  My next step was to have Boner introduce me to this character.  The next day Rotty met me at the pine tree grove, just south of our cemetery.  Rotty explained to me that all the local zombies were starting to realize that the human food source would start to disappear, thereby eventually, putting us zombies all in jeopardy of starving and ceasing to exist.  Rotty said, “The beautiful thing about this whole business is this:  We would advertise in Canadian publications and media outlets.  Get them to come down to our ‘vacation resort’ area, to invest in time share condos, conveniently located next to a high roller casino.  Once the Canadians arrived we will take their investment money and then eat our way right through their souls!”  I asked, “Where are we going to get the materials to build a casino and condos beforehand?”  Rotty insisted, “When I was alive, I helped build sets in Hollywood, so all we have to do is make some convincing looking fake buildings and then we’re ready for action.”  Hmmmmm, yeah, right!  As soon as we give this loser the finances to build his human trap, he’ll disappear in thin air!  So, I kicked this idiot’s ass and sent him back to his slim pit.  Little did I know Rotty is connected to the zombie mafia family, The Mongrolies.  SON OF A SWAMP MOTHER!!   Now what will I do? 


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