Sunday, July 29, 2012
The best laid plans....
Ike’s zombie health club, Good Guts & Gory, has been a huge success. Zombies were lined up around the block just to be the next lucky one to get in. The Brained & Stained club, by comparison, has been a little less busy. In fact, my entire zombie posse was standing in line at the health club today. Guess it’s one of those cases of “If you can’t beat them, join them”. Can’t believe those morons did me like that! The zombie gang may think they’ve taken my wheelbarrow full of hopes and dreams from me, but I have refused to give up!! Did the Colonel give up when he was told to take his white polyester suit wearing ass down the road when nobody initially wanted his fried chicken recipe? Of course he didn’t! The Colonel knew people needed his chicken, just like toothless hillbillies need meth. Likewise, zombies need this club….my club, whether they realize it or not. It can become THE place for zombies to unwind after a hard day in the undead world. Have a drink, play some pool and forget about the deranged humans who have tried so damn hard to split zombie skulls with their fancy crossbows! Seriously, who wants to go to a zombie health club? That sounds like a place for zombies with low self esteem who need to feel better about being among the undead population. You know, sit in a mud bath and magically gain the confidence to face another day of hunting humans. So, I will gather my thoughts, sit at the bar by myself and plan my next strategy. Well, I haven’t been entirely alone. I mean, there were a bunch of nats and flies congregating at the cream of eyeball chip dip that has been prepared for snackin’. They were good listeners.
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