Monday, April 16, 2012
An appointment with Dr. Lutzman
I met a new face amongst the zombie crowd in our graveyard neighborhood. The new guy’s name is Dr. Leo Oscar Lutzman. As a zombie, I must say this guy is especially ugly. I’ve seen a nicer look from a rotten head of cabbage! Lutzman has a nine iron sticking out of the top of his head. The good doctor must have been a really bad golfer for his golf buddies to do that dastardly deed to him. If it was the game of Clue, I’d go with Colonel Mustard in the ballroom with the nine iron. Oh…. Wait a minute. Now I remember this guy! When he was still human, Lutzman was sued for malpractice on seven different occasions. He was also a bit of a scam artist. This old doc worked the medical insurance fraud circuit extensively. Wow, what a scumbag! Perhaps, the nine iron planted firmly inside this dude’s cranium was a lovely parting gift from one of his badly treated patients. Well, Dr. Lutzman also has a poor dead side manner as a zombie. Spoke with many of the other zombies in our cemetery and it seems there are rumors that Lutzman may have been a grave robber when he was still human! Oh boy, things could get really tough for Lutzman if that is true. If it’s one thing that zombies and other undead creatures can all join together against, it’s the treasonous act of grave robbery. It was really amusing to me, when later that night, Fog the zombie bounty hunter came after old Dr. Lutzman. It seems that Lutzman was wanted for crimes against zombies in another graveyard! Fog was a pretty cool zombie. I’ve heard about Fog, but had never seen him before. His zombie mullet was flowing ferociously in the wind as Fog grabbed Lutzman by the nine iron and hauled the quack away to face his accusers. It was awesome! There’s never a dull moment around this graveyard. Eternal rest my ass!
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