Sunday, March 25, 2012
How much is that doggy in the window?
Stacey and I are now dating. We’re the talk of the graveyard. Being a zombie, you might not think that I have the capacity to fall in love and to get attached to another zombie, but that’s where you’d be wrong. We’re on the verge of becoming undead soul mates. We finish each other’s groans and seem to know what the other one is thinking just by looking under each other’s skull cap. Stacey and I have may have what it takes to forge a zombie romance that will become epic. Stacey, being much more romantic than me, thought we could exchange first week anniversary gifts. Yes, I know we’ve only been a zombie couple for a week, but it sounded like fun. I picked out some of the most wilted, dead flowers that I could find. Stacey was delighted and expressed to me that nobody ever gave her flowers like this before. Her idea of a one week anniversary turned out to be much more elaborate. Stacey blindfolded me and said, “Jed, we’re going down town to a secret place. I’ve got a surprise for you!” So she had two of my buddies, Slickman and Boner, walk me down along side her to THE PET POD, our local pet store! Oh boy, she wanted to give me a dog. Wow, I didn’t know if I would be ready for this kind of commitment. Stacey remarked, “Pick one out and we’ll turn it into a zombie pooch of your very own!” It was night time and we had the whole closed store to ourselves. So I picked out a mutt. No particular breed in mind, just a mutt. I’m also kind of a mutt; you know a mixture of man, legend and master zombie of excellence all joined together into one fantastic undead eggroll ….hey, I’m just saying! Anyway, I bit this dog and within a matter of minutes, my dog, Goo, was among the undead ranks. He’s a little dog with a huge bark and with a tremendous sense of irony. Instantly, Goo grabbed Boner’s lower right leg bone and took off like a late freight train. Awww, Goo wanted to play. SWEET!!
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