Monday, March 19, 2012
A zombie romance might be brewin'
Stacey agreed to go out with me. Well, she didn’t, but her zombie version did. What was I suppose to do? Yep, I had to seal the deal by giving Stacey an undead reason to accept my pursuit of her amazingly beautiful body. We call this the old “corpse courtship”. I gently bit her and now Stacey is the freshest zombie that we’ve in the cemetery for some time. My friends Slickman and Boner are jealous as neither one of them has had a zombie date in some time. I think they need to slather on some cologne because I’ve encountered roadkill that smells better than either one of those goofs. So Stacey and I went out on the town. We followed another couple out of the movie theater, who appeared to be on some kind of a date. The dude had popcorn husks stuck in his teeth and was wearing some very thick pop bottle glasses, probably couldn’t see half inch in front of him. The girl had her hair in dreadlocks and spoke with a slight stutter. Stacey and I pounced on them in the parking lot; it was the beginning of a wonderful moonlit dinner we shared. We held hands and looked each other in the eye. I could see the warmth and tenderness in Stacey’s face as she devoured the man’s arm. His screaming was like an enchanted love song that was whispered on the cool evening’s breeze. Stacey gently smiled as I chased down the woman. Remembering my manners, I chose not to talk with my mouth full when I chewed on this delicious young woman. Stacey appreciated it. Stacey said, “What a magical night, Jed. Please walk me back home.” Once we approached her tombstone, I kissed Stacey with a passion of a thousand bats taking flight in the dead of night. When the moon hits your rotting eye like a big brain pie, that’s amore!
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