Saturday, January 7, 2012
Zombie bikers, oh what fun!
Recruiting for my new zombie biker club has been very hard work. Tried to talk some of my fellow zombies into it by selling them on the idea that riding motorcycles will make human hunting far more efficient, but they’re just not buying that idea. Boner fell down in the fetal position and started sucking his thumb! What the hell is that all about, anyway?! Slickman ran off screaming like a little girl. Wow, I need to get better zombie friends, biker club or not. Finally, Boner let me know the reason for their bad reaction to my zombie biker proposal. Boner said, “We’re all scared of loud noises around here and cycles are incredibly loud! We don’t even like load shotguns or chain saws which are generally being used by humans to defend their turf. We, as zombies, just don’t see how riding motorcycles will improve are chances with the humans, Jed! Slickman and I must decline your ground floor opportunity to participate in the biker gang.” I responded, “You guys are a bunch of pussies! If I had the power to demote you from zombie to slug of the universe, I would.” I then added, “What about recreation? We could just ride the hogs for grins and giggles, you know, just to see how many bugs each one of us can catch in his teeth and not for human hunting purposes…..what do you say about that? Hey, where did that idiot go?” Next thing I know, looking about 75 feet from where I was standing to the street, Boner had already flagged down an ice cream truck driver and was choking down a frozen fudge bar. Well, potentially good biker gang recruits in this graveyard might be hard to come by. Might have to take my biker recruiting efforts into the city………
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