Sunday, January 22, 2012
Bad Ass & Bizarre
Went down to a biker bar to recruit bikers for my zombie biker gang and found success, you might say. This isn’t just any biker bar I went to, mind you. It is a biker bar for biker rejects. These are guys who can’t get into any other biker gang. The bar is called “Bob’s Booze –N- Barf” and it had some real characters. My instincts to turn these guys into zombies turned out to be excellent. A guy named Frank “The Shank” was the first biker chosen to be in my gang. I think his actual IQ increased after being turned into a zombie. His idea of a keen fashion sense is to wear a gas mask with his leather jacket. Oh well, guess old Frank will be prepared just in case the guy riding in front of him farts. Then there is Larry, whom everybody calls “Orange Juice”. He earned this nickname because the last man that Larry fought in a brawl felt “freshly squeezed” after that particular altercation. Another one of my prized biker picks is a dude named Ike “The Toothpick.” You might ask yourself, “Is Ike called that because he’s super skinny?” Well, you might think so, but that is not the case. Ike has one, unusually long, skinny, mutated front tooth, which he can use to pick any type of lock. So, as you can tell, I have one ugly, scary, hardboiled crew to ride my hog along side in our gang called “Rotten & Ripe Riders”! Heck, next to this bunch, I might look like George Clooney to any woman with questionable eyesight.
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