Sunday, February 19, 2012
Jed's zombie biker dream takes a hit.
We ended our rat round-up which was a great time. Best part of that endeavor was the deliciousness of the rat guts that I and my fellow Rotten & Ripe Riders enjoyed. True, a zombie doesn’t get as much meat from a rat as he would from a human being, but rats are still damned tasty. I would equate them to being the eggrolls of the zombie’s meal plan, just packed with a whole lot of good and greasy stuff. So, after we finished the rat feast at the old warehouse, we rode our bikes to a truck stop to pick up some fuzzy dice to pimp our rides. Yep, right in the snow. Hey, it was kind of fun to slip and slide around on snow covered streets! Finally made it to the truck stop and found a bunch of grumpy-ass truckers sitting around on their “brains” drinking coffee. What kind of a zombie biker gang would we have if a little trouble didn’t follow us? One of the truck drivers, Hogan, found my motorcycle club rather amusing. He taunted loudly, “Wouldn’t you bikers roll around better in a clown car? Guess, I didn’t know the circus was in town. How about it boys, should we all go to the circus so we can see freaks like these losers?!” I jumped at Hogan to show him who’s boss, well that, and to bite him. Hey, remember, I’m a flippin’ zombie after all. Before I could get to Hogan, the waitresses and cook at this choke and puke truck stop dive started to hurl food at me and my crew. Everything, from hard salami sausages to French fries to pecan pies covered me, Frank, Larry, Ike and the others. The truckers and everybody else at this bistro for the insane laughed and taunted us for what seemed liked hours. Once, I got back on my feet, I let the rest of the Rotten & Ripe Riders know it was time to haul ass out of there. Just then I looked out the window and saw one of those huge semi tractors deliriously driving over our Hogs! SON OF A SWAMP MOTHER!!! Our bikes were destroyed!! The truckers, waitresses and short order cook kicked our asses out of the truck stop. The Rotten & Ripe Riders have been reduced to The Rotten & Ripe Walkers. The walk of shame back to the grave yard couldn’t have been longer and on top of that, the stench from the nasty food still covered us! How do you humans eat such items? The zombie world will never know….
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