Saturday, December 3, 2011

Thanksgiving’s misgivings

So Thanksgiving came and went and we were really busy at the meat counter.  Two days before the holiday, the town’s wealthiest man, Mr. Buck Sterling Silver III, came into the grocery store.  He walked right up to me and said, “I am here to pick up the three dozen frozen turkeys I special ordered for the Thanksgiving holiday.”  I turned to Cuttin’ Carl and he confirmed that this millionaire has a standing order of three dozen turkeys every year.  In my amazement, I said to Mr. Silver, “Wow, you must be feeding an army!”  He responded, “No, one is for my family and I am dropping off five to the local homeless shelter.”  I questioned, “What about the other 30 turkeys that you’re hauling out of here, surely you have plans for them?”  Mr. Silver gave a sharp answer, “Oh, I have plans most certainly.  I have next door neighbor who is a vegan.  Every year I strategically plant the 30 turkeys throughout his yard with 30 R.I.P. tombstones, cut from plywood.  As an added bonus, I give each turkey a name such as Charlie, Harold, etc. and I have the names printed onto the corresponding tombstones.  The best part is that the vegan and his family go out of town every Thanksgiving and arrive home to his turkey graveyard!  It’s hilarious!”  It’s great to see a white trash millionaire making his mark on the world.  I ambushed Mr. Silver in the parking lot and put my “mark” on his head with a ferocious zombie bite.    

Thanks for reading Freakin' Dead Jed's blog.  I appreciate it. 

Freakin' Dead Jed and all related characters are copyright 2011 by Action Avenue Art Studio, Action Avenue Studio & Paul Addison. 

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