Saturday, December 10, 2011
Jed's bad career move
I went into work today and……..was fired from the meat counter. I asked Cuttin’ Carl why would I, the great and noble zombie, Freakin’ Dead Jed, deserve such a cruel and quick ending to a stellar butcher career. Cuttin’ Carl hurled his accusation, “Some of the customers have called to complain stating the hamburger and sausage meat tastes very funny. Jed, you must have contaminated the meat in some manner!” I responded gruffly, “You’ve got to be kidding me??!! I am the most professional butcher on this staff! I wear a hair net, the gloves and an apron every damn day. My customer service skills are of the highest quality. True, I ate that millionaire a couple of weeks ago, but that moron had it coming. Consider it a public service.” Cuttin’ Carl replied, “You see, that’s just it, Jed. We can’t have you going around eating the customers because of their own lack of good judgment. Corporate office is a little upset over all this and you have to go.” I waited for a good minute to decide my next strategy. Staring Cuttin’ Carl down, I said, “Perhaps, I will let you live through this, Carl, if you give me the keys to your Harley.” Cuttin’ Carl exclaimed, “What?! You’re nuts! No way in Hell will I give you the keys to my Harley! You see all these knives and cleavers around here, well, they don’t call me Cuttin’ Carl for nothing, you loser….now get out of here!!” Carl’s empty, decapitated head will make a fantastic gumball dispenser back at the graveyard and the Harley sure is a sweet ride, but I am going to miss that butcher gig…..
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Freakin' Dead Jed and all other related characters are copyright 2011 by Action Avenue Art Studio, Action Avenue Studio and Paul Addison.