Saturday, November 12, 2011
Day 1 of Jed’s new job
Being extremely excited about my first day on my new job, I arrived at the grocery store ready for work at the meat counter at cock-a-doodle dark in the morning! My manager is a guy who goes by the nickname of “Cuttin’ Carl”. Not sure how he got that nickname, as he is the laziest butcher/manager that I’ve ever seen. The only thing he could cut consistently was the “cheese”. The odors wafting up from his ass were far worse than any death stench I’ve smelled (including my own). Carl was too busy flirting with Barb the produce manager. Carl mentioned something about needing to thump Barb’s melons to test the freshness factor and then he took off out of the meat department like a race horse! Oh, damn it! The dude left me hanging. I had to train myself since Carl was over in produce enjoying the juicy fruits. Being new to the meat cutting game, I thought it would be best to start of with something easy, so cutting a fresh bunch of T-bone steaks seemed to be the thing to do. So I grabbed my meat. Ooooops, I meant to say that I grabbed the uncut meat in the walk-in cooler and carted it over to the giant saw. I hit the power button and “click, click”. The giant saw was dead with no power to it whatsoever! Checked to make sure that the power cord was plugged in and it was. Fortunately, I am like a zombie boy scout. I came prepared that morning with my own bone saw that I took as a souvenir from the city morgue. Yes, it was slightly used by the county medical examiner hacking on corpses o’ plenty, but hey, what customers don’t know won’t hurt them.
Thanks for reading Freakin’ Dead Jed’s blog! I appreciate it very much.
Freakin’ Dead Jed and all related characters are copyright 2011 by Action Ave Art Studio, Action Ave Studio and Paul Addison.