Sunday, October 21, 2012
Acting as a zombie in three easy, stumbling steps….
The production crew for the movie, “The Dirt Nap Gang Rides Again”, has been busy in our town. Who would have thought the movie industry would want to use our town as a place to film a movie? It couldn’t have been the mayor or the city council members who charmed the
folks into this deal. I mean, seriously,
a herd of chain smokin’, panty sniffin’ drag queens covered in warts and giving
off pungent body odor would have a more positive impact on these special
visitors than that bunch of corrupt sons-a -bitches! Anyway, I took my zombie crew to the auditions
to be extras in the movie. We stood
around forever waiting to be called for the audition. It was like waiting at the courthouse to be
called up for the jury selection process.
The casting director’s assistant came through the door took us into
another room as one group. The casting
director was a woman by the name of Jillian and she was very much to the
point. Jillian told me and my zombie
pals, “You know, you all have the look.
I have never seen more realistic looking zombies in all my years of
working in the film industry. We need to
have you all in this movie to add some authenticity, but there’s one problem. You guys need to be more limber as zombies
when you walk and shuffle about. I see
too much rigidness from you all. First
thing this afternoon, I want the whole lot of you to meet with the official
yoga instructor hired by the movie studio to keep all the actors ‘centered’ and
in shape.” I don’t think she realized
that we’re real zombies, not cheap imitations.
SON OF A SWAMP MOTHER!! Jillian
told us that we’re not quite zombie enough to be zombie extras without some
training. There’s no business like show
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