A zombie chat, what up with that?

 You see it’s tricky with us zombies.  We don’t have a zombie equivalent of Facebook, since most members of our ranks don’t have a face.  To communicate and socialize, it’s important to be able to plug into the zombie community by speaking face to face with one another.  These zombie to zombie encounters can be packed full with information, you know, where are the easiest pickings for human victims and what areas of the state have humans taken over shopping malls and turned these once pinnacles of consumerism into anti zombie bunkers.  Let's face it, a well informed zombie is a....well, I suppose.... just a zombie, but a zombie with something to think about when he's not chasing down food.   Anyway, attempted to communicate with Boris today and that was odd to say the least.  He was an interesting character when he was alive.  Boris used to be an auctioneer when he was still human. I always thought that line of work would have been challenging to pursue.  Figured my tongue would have ended up in traction if I would have tried to talk that fast!  The grave plot that Boris calls home in the cemetery is only four plots away from my own.  Boris is a bit of a grouch, kind of an “I just woke up on the wrong side of the casket” type of grouch.  Boris is like the old dude that tells the neighborhood kids to get off his lawn and then doesn’t think twice about letting his dog drop a huge honkin’ deuce on his neighbor’s lawn!  Suppose I should lighten up on old Boris; guess I would be a grouchy bastard too if I was missing my lower jaw. 

Thanks for reading Freakin' Dead Jed's blog thoughts.  He's a zombie with a heart of gold, which he obviously ate from his last human victim!  Hey, the gift giving season will soon be upon us.  What better way to say you care about the zombie or scifi fan in your life, than to invest in a Freakin' Dead Jed art print or a Ranger Rusty McBolt art print at my Action Ave Art Studio store located at zazzle.com.  We have art and art related merchandise for EVERY BUDGET.  Collect them for yourself or for the other zombie/scifi fan in your life.  Go on, click on the link below......you know you want to.....DO IT TODAY!

Freakin' Dead Jed, Rusty McBolt, and all other related characters are copyright 2011 by Action Ave Art Studio, Action Ave Studio and Paul Addison.

create & buy custom products at Zazzle

Alley Oooooppps!

The other night I was out prowling around, looking for some flesh to digest.  At some point I walked down a dark alley and came upon these two tough looking young teenagers who apparently decided that night to embark on a criminal enterprise.  They saw me walking towards them and shouted, “Hey, old man, give us all your money!”  Once these brain-dead poster children realized my undead state, they took off screaming.  I didn’t even get a chance to impart my wisdom to let them know that a life of crime will not pay off in the end and how the local youth detention center could use a couple bone heads like them (if for no other reason, the football team there could use new tackling dummies).  What is with all their screaming, “AAAHHHH, It’s a ZOMBIE!!! HELP!!!” Hey, I like to consider myself more than a mere zombie.  My duty is to be an ambassador of the undead, at least an agent of compromise.  Instead of eating their brains, I could have compromised and been satisfied with a couple of eyeballs or hands.  Hey, I am easy to get along with, but obviously these two idiots didn’t want to stick around to find out.  Guess it’s just as well, any body parts I could have ripped off and ate from either one of them would made me dumber than a box of rocks.  You know, you are what you eat!

Thanks for reading Freakin' Dead Jed's blog.  Be sure to tell your friends about it.  Even if you hate this blog, tell your enemies about it and send them here to seal their fate.  Also click on the link below to go to the Action Avenue Art Studio store for great art and art-related merchandise.  Everybody collects something, start today by collecting cool stuff from Action Avenue Art Studio.  Freakin' Dead Jed isn't the only awesome character at the Action Ave Studio store; Galactic Ranger Rusty McBolt is there and available for your scifi collection.  Invest in this excellent art and enjoy it in your home today!

Freakin' Dead Jed, Rusty McBolt and all related characters are copyright 2011 by Action Ave Art Studio, Action Ave Studio and Paul Addison.

create & buy custom products at Zazzle

Claude from the dirt clods....

Kind of a slow weekend around the graveyard because of Labor Day, in fact, the whole town is rather quiet.  I suppose most people traveled out of town to enjoy the long weekend with family and friends.  Not much for us zombies to do with virtually no people to hunt, chase and devour.  These guys and girls in the graveyard are my zombie crew, but even they get a little boring sometimes.  Recently, I met a new fellow to chat with.  No, not another zombie, let me explain.  The other day I woke up and heard a voice in my head that wasn’t mine, which prompted me to think that I was going crazy.  Yes, I know….a zombie that’s gone wacko, what are the odds?!  Anyway, this dude called himself “Claude”.  I said, “Claude, make yourself visible to me right this minute.  You don’t have a right to be taking up residence in my head without my permission!”  Claude responded, “Look, I mean you no harm.  I am worm and you could say that I am in the worm witness protection program.  I have sought refuge in your body.”  My next response was to say, “What worm witness protection program?”  Claude said, “There is a whole underground mob scene of worm gangster families, who are constantly at odds with the beetle gangster families.  Both of these underground crime families are trying to seize control to the cemetery turf and I am trying to get out of that way of life, so I sought refuge in your body.”  I then felt a rustling under my skin and within a minute, a little worm poked his head out from the skin on my neck.  “Hello”, he said. “Claude is here.”  Wow, who would have thought that fish bait could have such a ‘Good Fella’ like existence in the ground upon which I walk.  Talk about a strange shock to the system. 

Thanks for reading Freakin' Dead Jed's thoughts.  A freakish zombie with brain munchin' and crunchin' as his goal, Jed is also inclined to let a victim know what's on his mind before the chompin' begins!  Please click on the link below to view my artwork and art-related merchandise.  You might even find a great gift for yourself or the scifi or zombie fan in your life.  There are items to be had for EVERY BUDGET, so invest in some great scifi or zombie cartoon art TODAY!!  Don't forget to check out Rusty McBolt, a first class galactic robot ranger and one hell of a mean futuristic crime fighter. 

Freakin' Dead Jed, Ranger Rusty McBolt and all related characters are copyright 2011 by Action Ave Art Studio, Action Ave Studio and Paul Addison.

create & buy custom products at Zazzle

It's a tough gig, but some zombie has to do it......

Chased a family today around their house and did it ever hurt my pride.   Although it would seem that they should thank me for the exercise they received by running from a zombie, I suppose that might be asking too much.  It could even be considered quality family time spent for this mother and her three kids.  I mean, it wasn’t exactly like a night playing a game of Monopoly for this family, but they got to test their escape skills against the zombie mack daddy!  I came across this mom heating up some frozen pizza for her kids in their kitchen.  Again, I should be thanked by the kids at least since I interrupted lunch time and the “craptacular” pizza was flung to the floor by their mom when I gave her the initial scare of walking into her kitchen.  After chasing the mom and the kiddies up stairs and then back down stairs and throughout the main level of the house for about 23 minutes, “Momma” exchanged her frightened state for a more cool, confident, pissed off attitude.  She kind of reminded me of Sigourney Weaver from the Alien movies!  It kind of turned me on until she grabbed a ball bat from the garage and came after me with it.  Back in the kitchen, I happened to be trapped next to the stairs going down to the basement.  “Momma Thunder”, as I will now refer to her, jumped at me and smashed me with the bat so hard I went tumbling down the stairs!  My right arm became dislocated after the impact on the hard basement floor.  SON OF A SWAMP MOTHER, talk about bad karma!!!!  I fixed my arm with a dusty old tuba and a shoe horn.  Don’t ask, it’s better to not know the details.  So with my re-established confidence, I ran back up the stairs only to have Momma Thunder slam the door right on my face knocking me back down the stairs AGAIN!!  This time my left arm was completely unattached, but it was nothing a little duct tape and bailing wire couldn’t fix.  Holy Crap, I am like a zombie MacGyver!  Realizing it was time to call it a day; I broke out a basement window and went on back to the graveyard.  You know, I am starting to see the merits of cremation.  I wouldn’t get myself into these unfortunate incidents if I was a pile of ashes.

Thanks for reading Freakin' Dead Jed's blog.  He's not such a bad zombie once you get to know him and you can get to know him much better by clicking on the link below to head on over to my Action Ave Art Studio store at zazzle. com.  You owe it to yourself as a zombie scifi fan to collect one of Freakin' Dead Jed's adventures for yourself.  My artwork and art related merchandise make great gifts for that hard to buy for zombie or scifi collector in your family or circle of friends.  We have items for every budget, so head on over and order something today!  Don't forget to check out Galaxy Ranger Rusty McBolt.  He's a robot with the circuits of a genius...... or so I am told. 

Freakin' Dead Jed, Rusty McBolt and all related characters are copyright 2011 by Action Ave Studio, Action Ave Art Studio and Paul Addison.

create & buy custom products at Zazzle

Rumor going down around zombie town....

There was a rumor going around the zombie ranks today.  It consisted of the government and its goal to control each one of us zombies with an individual microchip surgically implanted right into the brain!  This scared the hell right out of me!   It’s not so much because being a zombie I have a fear of some government hired dumbass scientist screwing with my highly coveted IQ by riveting some shabby micro chip into my brain, but more so because our government can’t even control itself let alone trying to start some federal zombie slave program!  Look, we have government officials who talk out both sides of their mouth, playing spin the bottle in the world of politics.  Kissing up to the American public, telling the masses what they want to hear, when they want to hear it.  All the while, smooching up to special interest lobbyists and getting all the corrupt perks that go along with those “chapped lips”.  Just look at all the governmental screw-ups; take the Army Corp of Engineers, for instance.  These “rocket scientists” tried to convert the Missouri River into a giant enema for several Midwestern states this summer.  Yet, the government wants to control zombies…..yeah, right.  Learn to crawl, U.S. Government, before you can walk with the zombies…..

Thanks for reading Freakin' Dead Jed's thoughts in this blog.  Now drop everyting else you're concerned with right this minute!  Set that sandwich aside, let the dog out and tuck in the children because it's time to click on the link below to go to my Action Avenue Art Studio store.  Once you're there, you can be drawn into the zombie world of Freakin' Dead Jed and his attempts to fit into the land of the living.  Check out my other artwork about Rusty McBolt.  He is a futuristic robot ranger that I created because scifi artwork is really cool and fun to make.  The artwork pieces and related mechandise make great gifts for sci fi collectors or anybody who appreciates the wierd and wild.  We have artwork and items for every budget!  Come on over.....

Freakin' Dead Jed, Rusty McBolt and all related characters are copyright 2011 by Action Ave Studio, Action Avenue Art Studio and Paul Addison. 

create & buy custom products at Zazzle

In the dog house again

Got caught in a rain down pour today and wow did that suck.  I literally had to run down the alley of a residential neighborhood I wasn’t very familiar with at all.  No zombie likes to run unless he or she is chasing down a human for a quick meal, but here I was running in the rain like a damned fool with no tasty humans in my immediate sight.  Saw a huge dog house in the middle of this empty backyard, so I ducked into it figuring I could hang out in there until the rain lets up.  I thought to myself that this isn’t very dignified to be jumping into a dog house, but then again I eat brains, bloody guts and other assorted organs, so how much damned dignity do I really need!  Beggars can’t be choosers.  So I was sitting there in the dog house, chewing on a bone left there by the dog who owned it.  It was a T bone and it still had some meat left on it.  At that point I was thinking that the day might not end up so bad after all when all of a sudden I heard a very loud growl.  A massive Rottweiler was standing on the back porch. (Uh, can you say YIKES?!)  The dog’s teeth looked tragically sharp and his attitude took a completely badass turn regarding a zombie taking up residence in his house, chewing on his T bone!  My foolish notion led me to think I was at the top of the food chain that day and boy was I wrong.  I bolted out of there like my head was on fire and my ass was catching!!  Must have set the zombie land speed record in getting the hell out of there…..

Go to Action Ave Art Studio store at zazzle.com to invest in excellent artwork and merchandise for yourself or as a gift for somebody else.  And as luck would have it, my studio store has items for EVERY BUDGET.   I've made it incredibly easy for you, just click on the link below to get to my store.  While you're there, you can also see and experience the scifi adventures of Ranger Rusty McBolt as he cowboys his way through the galaxy.  Thank you,  I appreciate your business.......Artist, Cartoonist & Creator Paul Addison.

Freakin' Dead Jed, Ranger Rusty McBolt and all related characters are copyright 2011 by Action Ave Art Studio, Action Ave Studio and Paul Addison.

create & buy custom products at Zazzle

It doesn't pay to be a zombie pedestrian.....

This morning I was walking dead around town, hoping to score some breakfast organs from some unsuspecting humans.  I was making my way through this intersection, when all of a sudden, some nutburger city bus driver hauled ass down the street and ran right over my left foot and ripped the son of a bitch clean off!  Whoa, Nellie!!  My foot was stuck in the tire tread so I had to chase the bus six blocks on my stump before catching up to it!  Once my foot became unstuck from the tire tread, I climbed onto the bus and the driver acted totally clueless as to what he had done.  I said to him, "Hey, moron, you steam rolled over my foot and ripped it completely off my leg!"  His response to my aggravation, "Here's a quarter, call someone who cares!"  Dude has not seen a pissed off zombie.  "Listen," I fired back to the driver, "Just because you, as a city employee, barely cared enough to roll out of bed this morning after farting and hitting the snooze alarm, doesn't mean that the people of this fine city should be treated with any less respect.  By the way, we tax payers take care of your salary!"  True, I haven't paid taxes since I was human, sometime when Clinton was still president, but I was on a roll with my patriotic zombie speech.  The bus driver's reaction was to pull a stun gun from his pocket and use it on me.  I yelled to him, "You dumb ass, all that does it tickle, now I'm going to rip your face off and eat it!"  The three passengers who, up until this point, had been sitting there in stunned silence, all at once got up and opened a can of whoop ass on me.  Well, I was having a good morning until all of this.  Guess I will take my foot back home to the graveyard and rethink my strategy for lurking around the metro area.  Maybe I can get my hands on one of those great segway scooters that security guards so famously use....

Take action now and go to the zazzle.com link below and see the great artwork and merchandise at my Action Ave Art Studio store.  They make excellent gifts!  Hey look, my sickness knows no bounds so you might as well indulge me by going to Action Ave Art Studio store and seeing what you can find.  Don't forget to check out the awesome scifi adventures of robot Galactic Ranger Rusty McBolt as he fights the scumbags of the universe and keeps us safe!

Freakin' Dead Jed, Ranger Rusty McBolt and all related characters are copyright 2011 by Action Ave Art Studio, Action Ave Studio and Paul Addison.


create & buy custom products at Zazzle