The other night I was out prowling around, looking for some flesh to digest. At some point I walked down a dark alley and came upon these two tough looking young teenagers who apparently decided that night to embark on a criminal enterprise. They saw me walking towards them and shouted, “Hey, old man, give us all your money!” Once these brain-dead poster children realized my undead state, they took off screaming. I didn’t even get a chance to impart my wisdom to let them know that a life of crime will not pay off in the end and how the local youth detention center could use a couple bone heads like them (if for no other reason, the football team there could use new tackling dummies). What is with all their screaming, “AAAHHHH, It’s a ZOMBIE!!! HELP!!!” Hey, I like to consider myself more than a mere zombie. My duty is to be an ambassador of the undead, at least an agent of compromise. Instead of eating their brains, I could have compromised and been satisfied with a couple of eyeballs or hands. Hey, I am easy to get along with, but obviously these two idiots didn’t want to stick around to find out. Guess it’s just as well, any body parts I could have ripped off and ate from either one of them would made me dumber than a box of rocks. You know, you are what you eat!
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